The Whole Charade

It's not easy being an Indian bride. But I guess it’s pretty much same for all the brides. The

clothes, the jewellery, the pressure to look the best. Honestly I didn't care about all of those ever, I didn't even care if I ever got married. Naturally, I was overwhelmed. The weekly visits to the parlour, the elders whispering wisdom in my ears, the tailors measuring every inch of my body. Frankly, I felt violated, but you cannot complain, it’s your marriage. You have to bear all that and then some. The end product was better than I hoped for, which means I looked gorgeous. 

No one asked me if I wanted all of that. May be secretly I wanted all of that, maybe I didn't know that I wanted all of it. I didn't complain. I was getting all the attention and the good kind of attention I mean. Don't know what is it with women and being a bride, that makes the glow from the inside. I have seen some hard-core women against marriage, finally giving up. I have been told girl's fancies it. My fantasies were different. I wanted a bright career; make a difference, be somebody. 

I wanted a small wedding, but that seemed farfetched. Being the only daughter of your parent's makes it so much more difficult. You cannot even dream about upsetting your parent's or other family members. Besides what will your in-laws think? In all of these, you are lost, your principles, ideologies, pretty much everything you believed in all these years of growing up. I was told to feel fortunate, because I got all of that many can only imagine and never get. Honestly, I was feeling anything but fortunate. I told my mum and dad to sponsor a wedding for the less fortunate than us, who cannot afford so lavish, instead of me, for I am never going to feel lucky about it and would only hold a grudge against them. Again, I was perceived to be crazy. 

You cannot even dream of sharing the idea with the groom. What if he doesn’t understand, what if they break it off. So I lived through all the ‘what ifs’ and I kept my mouth shut, with my inside screaming for some air. I compromised, but nobody understood that. Everyone thought I should feel lucky to have parents who gave me so much. No one understood that all I wanted was to have a small wedding, no one cared, and I was taken for granted.

I must sound like a spoilt whiner, but my point here is, when will we get to decide what we want? Why is it that everyone’s wishes gets fulfilled during a marriage except for the bride? Why do we have to compromise with our hopes and dreams? 

I remind myself everyday that I am lucky to have such kind parents, who is never gonna listen to me. I hope you get everything you want on your wedding. :)